Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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