I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Please, let me fuck your mom
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
