I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
