okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
