I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
