So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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