I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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