He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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