i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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