your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
