Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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