I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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