is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
