Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
