my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
