At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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