is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
