I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
