eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
