she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
