Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We need to rekindle our bromance
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
