Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
