This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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