i was born a porn star she said
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
