So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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