you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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