This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
