Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
