I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
