I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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