I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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