Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
