Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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