we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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