I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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