Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
