I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Your dad touched me again.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
