So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
