Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
