You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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