he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
