This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize