don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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