Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
