i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
