I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
