Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
