But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
