a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
