quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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